Halloween is one of the least socially important nights in college life. To clarify, while the 31st of October is a night of massive parties and many opportunities to meet new friends, potential mates and the inside of toilet bowls, everyone inevitably dresses like a tool and makes a complete fool of him or herself. Any faux-pas will be forgiven.

To paraphrase one of the finest pieces of cinema of our time, Mean Girls, Halloween is the one time when a girl can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything about it.

While the sage-like Lindsay Lohan speaks truth, there is some nuance to college-aged Halloween costumes. Check out an interesting depiction of post-adolescent Halloween costumes here.

However, there is something to be said for the non-sexy Halloween costume. In fact, I challenge that the non-sexy Halloween costume is more interesting than the sexy.

The really great Halloween costumes are the ones that take some thought. High concept costumes rather than lots of flash. Movie characters – like Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction, visual puns – like a cereal killer or interesting inanimate object costumes – like this guy, are always better conversation starters than being just another sexy nurse.

Many guys out there try to capitalize on girls’ willingness to dress provocatively and wind up with the always original mammogram machine.

For the gents out there, most of whom have never had the opportunity to “dress like a slut.” Ehh, why don’t you go for it? If the ladies can do it, why can’t you? Once again, cross-dressing costumes will get you more looks than the pimp, or the gangster or the mammogram machine will.

To sum up, make your costumes interesting, folks. Halloween is like the first day of school. You have the opportunity to be another person, to meet new people without the fear of rejection, to impress your friends with your wit. Many people waste it by phoning it in and either flashing some skin or putting on a silly hat.

If you can’t let go of the “dressing like a slut” convention of the adult Halloween, at least be a creative slut. There is a cornucopia of sexy dress that also can get a laugh or spark some conversation.
You could go for:

  • The Ironic – Sexy Mother Theresa
  • The Awkward – Sexy Grandmother
  • The Political – Sexy Joe the Plummer
  • The Literary – Sexy Mary Shelly
  • The Counterintuitive – Sexy 600 Pound Man
  • The Throwback – Sexy Ninja Turtle

Costumes take commitment. As you may remember from when you were a young child, if you didn’t believe that you’re Superman, or a princess or a Power Ranger, you were destined for failure. The same holds true today, for Halloween in the 21st century.

Find me this Friday night dressed as Miss Piggy, and check in next Wednesday for an election night wrap up. Don’t you dare forget to vote.